I haven't had a whole lot to say recently, obviously. There's just not much new going on. We're plugging along doing the day to day grind. We're enjoying the begining of spring weather and I'm looking forward to the summer for now. I intend to enjoy it a lot more than last year, which we all refer to as the summer that wasn't LOL.
Updates on each of us~
Cory is still rocking the school year. He's doing great with little help or guidance from me. I hope he can keep this up. I'm really proud of this new found independence. He had a mega spurt of disrespect going on but has really turned that around.
Ty is doing well too. He really didn't have any problems except for reading. He's in 6th grade and was reading on a 3rd grade level and then not passing his AR quizzes. AR quizzes are short computer quizzes on regular books that kids might read anyway. It's a good way to get kids to like reading more. Anyway, he's now taking and passing 5th grade level quizzes so he's put some effort in and is doing much better.
Jay's doing great in school. He's reading the same books Ty is and passing them so he's in 3rd reading on a 5th grade level. His struggle is in Math but not so much that I'm worried about him. Behaviorally he's going through a rough patch. I'm tired, he's testing. Still, we're dealing with it and I hope I don't jinx it by saying I think we're on the downside of this backslide.
Logan is reading up a storm and is doing well at school. He's behaving slightly better too. I still see the same behaviors but they're not quite as frequent.
I haven't been subbing much and except for not making the extra money I don't mind too much lol. I LOVE teaching but subbing is a lot different and I really don't like it.
That's about all for now, folks!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Entitlement Part 2
There's a few things I'd like to add now on the topic, being calmer and have given some more thought on the issue.
Babies are NOT possessions to be fought over. It makes me sick when this happens, especially because some of the ones doing the most and the nastiest "fighting" are the very ones who are complaining that adoptive parents treat them as possessions that can be bought and sold. I have to include myself in this fighting to a point as I have sometimes (ahem...as in last night for one) given in to the insults and had my say. The best I can say about my behavior at these times is that it's always been defensive. Ya, I know. "You started it" is a poor excuse. I admit that.
What the mothers of loss who do this "on the offensive" need to understand is that their anger is more often misdirected than not. What do they hope to gain by insulting the general population of adoptive parents? They were insulted? Well, I'm sorry but I wasn't the one hurling those insults. Does it change the past to spew back the insults now? Do they really feel better? If so, WHY? It makes them no better than the people who treated them that way. They were called birthmothers and worse so now call us adopters? They were insulted when people told them the pregnancy was their fault so now infertility is automatically ours?
A couple of notes here. I am not judging anyone's choice to have sex before marriage. Most people do. If they were not treated with compassion while facing the consequences of that choice I am sorry. For me, though, it's a fact that every person who makes a choice has to deal with whatever might come next because of it. That's why teens shouldn't have sex in my opinion. This too isn't a judgement. It's an opinion based on the fact that most are not ready to deal with the potential consequences of it. Sex is for adults because it has potential adult consequences. Simple as that.
Anyway, now that I have that out of of my system I'll finish my thoughts on entitlement. Having a baby is a priviledge, not a right, for ANY parent. It makes no difference how you got to be a parent. No one is entitled to a baby. It happens that people who become parents through both conception and adoption sometimes get the priviledge of parenting without deserving it. Unless a "good parent detector" is invented that's not going to change. THOSE are the people who shouldn't get to be parents. I guess I could sum it up like this: good people who are or would be good parents deserve the chance to be parents.
Babies are NOT possessions to be fought over. It makes me sick when this happens, especially because some of the ones doing the most and the nastiest "fighting" are the very ones who are complaining that adoptive parents treat them as possessions that can be bought and sold. I have to include myself in this fighting to a point as I have sometimes (ahem...as in last night for one) given in to the insults and had my say. The best I can say about my behavior at these times is that it's always been defensive. Ya, I know. "You started it" is a poor excuse. I admit that.
What the mothers of loss who do this "on the offensive" need to understand is that their anger is more often misdirected than not. What do they hope to gain by insulting the general population of adoptive parents? They were insulted? Well, I'm sorry but I wasn't the one hurling those insults. Does it change the past to spew back the insults now? Do they really feel better? If so, WHY? It makes them no better than the people who treated them that way. They were called birthmothers and worse so now call us adopters? They were insulted when people told them the pregnancy was their fault so now infertility is automatically ours?
A couple of notes here. I am not judging anyone's choice to have sex before marriage. Most people do. If they were not treated with compassion while facing the consequences of that choice I am sorry. For me, though, it's a fact that every person who makes a choice has to deal with whatever might come next because of it. That's why teens shouldn't have sex in my opinion. This too isn't a judgement. It's an opinion based on the fact that most are not ready to deal with the potential consequences of it. Sex is for adults because it has potential adult consequences. Simple as that.
Anyway, now that I have that out of of my system I'll finish my thoughts on entitlement. Having a baby is a priviledge, not a right, for ANY parent. It makes no difference how you got to be a parent. No one is entitled to a baby. It happens that people who become parents through both conception and adoption sometimes get the priviledge of parenting without deserving it. Unless a "good parent detector" is invented that's not going to change. THOSE are the people who shouldn't get to be parents. I guess I could sum it up like this: good people who are or would be good parents deserve the chance to be parents.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Entitlement
Some people may not like this post. I don't care. I think I normally have a fairly progresssive and realsitic point of view about adoption but sometimes something just ticks me off and I have to vent about it. That's where I'm at. Please, bear it in mind while reading.
I've seen more entitlement talk around adoption blogs. It seems to crop up fairly regularly. Please note, I'd like to say AGAIN that I never felt entitled to a child but I am a good mother and deserve to be one as much as anyone else does.
The thing that makes me the angriest is when I'm told that I don't dseserve to be a mother because my infertility is my fault. First of all, it's not. It's a genetic issue no one had any control of. I've seen the primary causes of infertility cited and sure some of them are life choices. But you know what? So is having sex. So let's look at this a moment. There are several genetic and environmental causes of infertility that are NOT caused by a choice. There is only one, yes ONE, cause of pregnancy that is not a lifestyle choice. That obvioulsly is rape. When you compare the percentages of pregnancies caused by rape to the percentages of people who are infertile through no fault of their own, which do YOU want to bet is higher?
I'm sick of being told that infertility does not entitle anyone to a baby. It's not that I think it does. It's just that you know what? Neither does being being able to get pregnant.
I've seen more entitlement talk around adoption blogs. It seems to crop up fairly regularly. Please note, I'd like to say AGAIN that I never felt entitled to a child but I am a good mother and deserve to be one as much as anyone else does.
The thing that makes me the angriest is when I'm told that I don't dseserve to be a mother because my infertility is my fault. First of all, it's not. It's a genetic issue no one had any control of. I've seen the primary causes of infertility cited and sure some of them are life choices. But you know what? So is having sex. So let's look at this a moment. There are several genetic and environmental causes of infertility that are NOT caused by a choice. There is only one, yes ONE, cause of pregnancy that is not a lifestyle choice. That obvioulsly is rape. When you compare the percentages of pregnancies caused by rape to the percentages of people who are infertile through no fault of their own, which do YOU want to bet is higher?
I'm sick of being told that infertility does not entitle anyone to a baby. It's not that I think it does. It's just that you know what? Neither does being being able to get pregnant.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Life Lesson
Here's something I wish everyone knew, respected, and lived.
There are bad, evil people in every walk of life. No one group is exempt from that fact. If you base your opinions of groups on the few bad members of said groups, it logically follows that you simply will never find ANY group of people acceptable to you. So don't do it!!!!!!!!
There are bad, evil people in every walk of life. No one group is exempt from that fact. If you base your opinions of groups on the few bad members of said groups, it logically follows that you simply will never find ANY group of people acceptable to you. So don't do it!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Another Give Away
You might want to check this out if you're on a tight budget! The author/blogger is giving away copies of her cookbook "The Five Dollar Mom Cookbook."
Friday, January 1, 2010
My First Award
I got my first award from Marythemom over at Muddling Through Mayhem. Thank you, Mary!
The Happy 101 rules are as follows:
List 10 things that make you happy and try to do one of them today. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day. For those 10 bloggers who get the award, link back to my blog and create a list of things that make you happy.
My Ten things that make me happy:
1. The boys, of course! What would I do without them?
2. My furbabies (when they're not knocking over water glasses or chewing up hearing aids lol).
3. My mom and dad. I just love them a lot and I know I can count on them.
4. My brother and sister and their significant others. They're great and we're there for each other.
5. My soon to be niece, B! She's silly, girly, and just all around fun.
6. My friends!
7. The hot tub!
8. Chocolate! Well, good food in general lol.
9. Reading a good book.
10. Good tv or a good movie!
I'm passing the award on to:
All the bloggers out there! LOL! I'm not good at tagging people and I love all the blogs I read (or I wouldn't read them lol). Every blog I read makes me happy in some way, even if it's just that I learn from the blogger. Mary, I hope you're ok with that! LOL.
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