I've found myself saying this a lot recently, given that I've been a "mommy" to J and L for nearly 2 years now and none of us have any resolution as of yet. I posted it in a comment on a blog of a wonderful fellow fostermom and thought I'd say it here too.
The 2 hardest rules of fostercare:
1. Treat and love these kids as your own. (This is hard because it's gut-wrenching to do this knowing there's every possibility your heart will be broken if/when the kids leave you and you might never see them again.)
2. Got number 1? Good. NOW...never forget the whole time you're following number 1 that they AREN'T yours. (I'm not debating here the fact that they aren't ours as fp's. I KNOW that. I'm just stating that this is obviously a VERY painful irony we face if we really are doing our jobs as fp's.)
Reminder
As an adoptive mom of 4, I will be posting about adoption issues from time to time. If you read these posts, please keep in mind that MY personal frame of reference is older child adoption through foster care. Unless I specifically state otherwise, that is most likely to be the point of view I'm writing from. My relationships with the boys' families and decisions regarding openess reflect this and are not generalized to all adoptions.
My Favorite Sites
- Adventures in Mommyland
- Away 2 Me
- Bring the Rain....The Story Of Audrey Caroline
- Bringing Our Boys From Haiti to Home
- Christine's World
- Confessions of a CF Husband
- Daisha's Loves
- From My Shelf Books
- Garcias 2 Chile
- Ignore the Crazy
- Kathy's Korner
- Pep's Thoughtful Spot
- Teach Only Love
- The Joys of Asha
3 comments:
It all makes no sense really at all.
And it makes sense why so many foster homes aren't what they should be.
:(
It's the hardest thing I've ever done, being a foster mom. Not sure how you've done it for so long! ((HUGS))
The rules suck.
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