Thursday, November 5, 2009

Done, Done, Done

And did I mention that I was done? LOL.

With what you ask?

Foster care! I officially mailed in my resignation letter earlier this week. Why now? I wouldn't have made the choice so quickly after finalizing the boys' adoptions except my foster care license needed to be renewed. So it was either get them in here to do it or officially resign. Pushed to make a choice I took some time to consider and pray and decided to resign.

Ok. I'm processing this still. I'm not enitrely sure how I feel about it. I guess that's to be expected. There are a lot of both good and negative feelings associated with foster care for me. That I guess should be expected too. I am so blessed to have my boys. I'm proud of the work I did when I was working with A, Ty's mom. Whatever my feelings were at the time about not wanting to lose Ty I worked hard for their reunification. On the other hand, I saw a lot of incompetence happening in Jay and Logan's case. I'm not excluding myself. I KNEW they couldn't go home but I do have regrets looking back at the over two years of the case. I never did anything unethical or illegal but I pushed too hard in some places, trusted some of the wrong people, and didn't make myself be heard when I should have. I might post more about that but I need to think about that as it is Jay and Logan's story. There's also a little bit of sadness because it feels over and final now. More on that in a minute. But there's also happiness in being able to lead a more "normal" life now. I don't have to call to ask permission to leave the county, cut the boys' hair, or take the boys to the doctor if needed. We don't have to schedule cw visits. There are no more court hearings. All very good things lol. So like I said before, mixed feelings lol.

Now. Is this resignation as a resource family permanent? I can't answer that right now. I feel like our family is complete now. I'm not sure I could give the boys all the extra support they need because of their issues if I added another child now. However, I WOULD probably be willing to foster Ty's sister should she ever come into care. And another mom says she doesn't think I'm done. But what she sees is me fostering when I'm older and the boys are grown. I can sure see that as a possibility. Well, only time and God's guidance will tell from here. Looking forward to the future!

1 comment:

Ragan said...

I had mixed feelings when we let our foster care license lapse too (we didn't have to formally resign in NV). I felt so bad for all those babies that I "could have" helped but I also knew it was best for my babies to focus on them. And I DEFINITELY don't miss the caseworker visits or feeling like we were under a microscope all the time! But, you never know what the future may hold ;)