Meant to Be

Writing about B in yesterday's post reminded me that I haven't mentioned her on my blog before. I'm not going to give many details or tell her whole story but I do want to tell how she came to be my sister's foster to adopt dd.

Three years ago my sister got a job as a driver for a foster care agency. Her job, simply put, is to drive foster children to visits and appointments when neccessary. This agency covers a large area so some days she might be driving several hours one way for these trips. Soon after starting with the agency she began taking B on trips weekly. Her parents' rights had been terminated but she had visits with an aunt who intended to adopt B "when her behavior improves." Val also took her to dentist appointments, counseling appointments, and whatever else was neccessary. She brought her snacks and they talked and played games on these trips. Val began to talk about B frequently. She'd tell us cute things she said, how she did on her report card, or what B was up to in general. It's safe to say Val loved B then and has ever since.

Fast forward to July of this summer. Val heard at work that B's aunt had finally said she would not be adopting her and the current foster family was suddenly out as well. B had been moved to respite care and was looking at a new long term foster placement with a different family. Val was devastated because she hadn't known in time to have a chance for B to be placed with her. After a conversation about it with Val, the cw knew just who to call when the new placement fell through days later before B even had a chance to move in. The agency extended B's respite while they worked with Val and her dh to get them approved and B was living with them before the start of the school year.

During the process of Val and her dh being certified as foster parents, B of course had to be told what was happening. On a home visit the day after having that conversation with B, the cw told Val how it went. She told B that she wouldn't be going to live with the H family after all, but that Val and her husband wanted her to come live with them. At this point the cw got tears in her eyes and told Val that B's eyes got as big as pie plates and she gasped and said, "MY Val? MY Val wants me?"

You can argue all you want about whether B should've been removed from her parent's care. *You can debate whether the aunt that only wanted her if she could be "be good" would've been a good placement. I just don't see how you can look at how the pieces fell into place this summer or B's reaction and say that B wasn't meant to be with Val and her dh. It doesn't negate the good OR the bad of her past or her family. **Simply put people have free will and are going to do what they do. That doesn't mean God can't or won't use those actions to create something good and meant to be.

*I, by the way, would argue that she would NOT have made a decent placement. Children with issues like Jay and B won't get better to be loved and accepted, they'll get better if they ARE loved and accepted.

**I'd like to note that I saw this expressed in very similar words on another blog. I used it because it expresses what I believe but was struggling to find a way to say. I apologize to the author because it's not a blog I read frequently and I've looked but have ben unable to find it again so that I can give proper credit. If i find it later I'll update.