My Heart

I've never gone into much detail on my blog with the boys' stories or behaviors but if you read enough, you know that at times they can be challenging. In the past, I have felt defeated and even a bit broken at times. I've also recently said that I think we, as a family, and as individuals, have made some serious progress. I do know, as I've said before, that there will be more work to be done. But it's moments like last night that make my heart melt and make it all worth while.

We were driving to a local megamart and it was just a moment I want to freeze and carry with me forever. We began talking about lucky numbers, which for the boys translates quickly to birthdays, locker numbers/combinations, jersey numbers of favorite athletes, and car numbers of favorite NASCAR drivers. This led to what we call "double lucky" numbers...numbers that have more than one meaning for that person. Example...Ty's jersey number this year was 16 and that is in his locker combination. Logan's favorite race car driver is #2 and his birthday is the second. It was just fun and silly UNTIL this:

Ty: You were born in 1971, right, mom?
Me: Yep.
Ty: So you're going to be the big 4-0 this year. (Yes, he already knew this. I've been lamenting it for a few years now. Two actually...since my older brother turned 40 lol.)
Jay: Hey! That's cool. You need to celebrate. We should really do something for it this year.
Ty: Yeah! What can we do?
Logan: We should par-tay! (Yes he said it like that. I swear I don't know where he got it from lol.)
Jay: Aunt Val will help us, guys!
Ty: You're gonna be so surprized mom! (Um, no, now I'm not. But thanks! LOL)

At this point the conversation veered in another direction. I was lost in my own space for a few minutes but they didn't notice. I was thinking about the love and excitement in their voices. And you know what? I know I shouldn't need that to make me feel loved, respected, and validated. But it did anyway.