Joy

Today's prompt asks for the happiest moment of your life. Oh my smurf! How do you quantify that and pick only one moment?


I think most mothers would probably pick the birth(s) of their child(ren). Similarly, many people might expect that the days that the boys' adoptions were finalized might be mine. I can't say that, though. I was happy, most certainly. I wanted to be their mother so very much. But the joy of that day was tempered because while I gained that day, they lost. And no matter what the situations were, four sets of parents lost. Add to that that the finalizations were, because of the situations in foster care, the end of several years of stress for everyone. I guess it felt more like relief mixed with happiness.

Looking back, I just wouldn't pick one happiest moment. The happiest momentS for me? Are those silly, peaceful, loving moments with the boys that can happen at any time and are too numerous to count.

I Can't Say It Enough

I think the vast majority of the people who read this blog know me well enough that they know what a horrible yet miraculous roller coaster ride these last few days have been. You've been there offering your time, your ear, your prayers, and your help. I HATE that it takes times like these to bring home yet again just how blessed I am but boy am I glad to be! So, to everyone who's been there for me the last few days...thank you. You're wonderful and I hope you know how much I love you all!

Oh! God? I couldn't leave you out. Thank you for blessings beyond belief and a huge Christmas miracle. I love You!

Friends or Family???

I wasn't planning to sit and blog right this minute. I usually do that later in the day. I just checked the NaBloPoMo prompt page for something to occupy my mind as I wait for Cory to finish playing on the boys' computer and Ty to get home from his "job" (he does odd jobs for people in the neighborhood). But this prompt? I love.

This was yesterday's prompt: Who are you closer to, friends or family? Wow. I don't know how much I'll have to SAY about this subject but I know I it makes me feel a lot.

I'm close to my family. I think my mom and dad would do almost anything for us and I would do anything within my power for them. They've always been there for me. And my brother and sister? Ya...talk about blessings!!! My sister and I are amazingly close and I can't imagine anything ever changing that. We'ere always there for each other. And my brother? He's like the world's best uncle lol. He's watched the boys for me. He takes time with them, makes them laugh, teaches them things. I absolutely love him! And I get along with and LIKE my brother and sister in-law. My brother-in-law is so good for my sister and a great dad. And my sister in law? She's more like a sister. She's sweet, she cares, and she's been there for me, too. On top of that, I have several cousins that I just adore and a couple of aunts who are almost second moms to me. I'm so blessed by all of them.

But my friends? Holy cow! I am so blessed by them, too. Can I count them any less? There are friends I've made online that I can't imagine my life without. I've even met one of them. I talk to the ones I'm closest to at least once every day. On the rare day it happens that I don't? I'm completely thrown for a loop. We've all been there for each other and will continue to be so through some difficult times. I have 3 friends I've known since fourth grade who are like sisters to me. We don't talk or see each other very often now, but when we do it's as if we were never apart. There's not much I wouldn't do for any of these ladies.

I guess it comes to this. There is family. There are friends. And there are friends who ARE family. I'm happily extremely close to the first and inordinately blessed by the number of people I can count among the third. And I thank God for both every day!

I Could...

-blog a meme as I've seen a couple out there.

-do a Saturday six post I've been working on but it's been a mind bender and isn't finished.

-tell you about a few of the crazier things happening here the last few days.

-put myself out there and ask for questions from readers. Nah...I'd just be embarrassed that no one responded LOL.

I think I'll just cheat again and leave you with a couple of pictures. Care to guess where we went today????




ETA: Please enjoy the fierce look. He's really not mad. The doctor noted his football jersey and pretended to think he'd been injured in a big game so that's the look he was going for. He loved every minute of it! Well, that and the 2 (yes, 2) "very hot looking" nurses fawning over him. No one senses Cory's influence there, right? ;)

My Heart

I've never gone into much detail on my blog with the boys' stories or behaviors but if you read enough, you know that at times they can be challenging. In the past, I have felt defeated and even a bit broken at times. I've also recently said that I think we, as a family, and as individuals, have made some serious progress. I do know, as I've said before, that there will be more work to be done. But it's moments like last night that make my heart melt and make it all worth while.

We were driving to a local megamart and it was just a moment I want to freeze and carry with me forever. We began talking about lucky numbers, which for the boys translates quickly to birthdays, locker numbers/combinations, jersey numbers of favorite athletes, and car numbers of favorite NASCAR drivers. This led to what we call "double lucky" numbers...numbers that have more than one meaning for that person. Example...Ty's jersey number this year was 16 and that is in his locker combination. Logan's favorite race car driver is #2 and his birthday is the second. It was just fun and silly UNTIL this:

Ty: You were born in 1971, right, mom?
Me: Yep.
Ty: So you're going to be the big 4-0 this year. (Yes, he already knew this. I've been lamenting it for a few years now. Two actually...since my older brother turned 40 lol.)
Jay: Hey! That's cool. You need to celebrate. We should really do something for it this year.
Ty: Yeah! What can we do?
Logan: We should par-tay! (Yes he said it like that. I swear I don't know where he got it from lol.)
Jay: Aunt Val will help us, guys!
Ty: You're gonna be so surprized mom! (Um, no, now I'm not. But thanks! LOL)

At this point the conversation veered in another direction. I was lost in my own space for a few minutes but they didn't notice. I was thinking about the love and excitement in their voices. And you know what? I know I shouldn't need that to make me feel loved, respected, and validated. But it did anyway.

Ready for School

We've been keeping busy enjoying what's left of summer. We've done more fishing, gone to the lake again, and of course we have everything we need for the school year. Well, except jeans. They all need new jeans. That can wait though since they all like to wear shorts for as long as the weather allows.

This is the beginning of the busiest time of year for us. Ty, Jay, and Logan are all in soccer and Cory runs for cross country. At the high school now. Can you believe that? A high school student! Anyway, it's challenging to work a schedule that allows us to eat together as much as possible this time of year and for me to get to as many games for all the boys as I can, but I absolutely love it. Fall sports...bring it on!

Pictures

Here are a couple of pictures from the baseball game. They didn't all turn out that great but I love them! There's also a pic of Jay's family birthday cake.

Happy Fourth and A Note

I hope you all had a happy, safe holiday weekend. We certainly did. The boys were well behaved all day, the weather was nice, and the fireworks were fun. We had snacks, sparklers, and a great place to watch from. I DID forget to take my camera. Bummer lol. Anyway, it was a really great night.

Now. A quick note about my prolonged bloggy absence. I started posts several times but they never made it to "post." There was one that did but I deleted it within a short period of time because it seemed too pity party and attention-seeking. Not that it wasn't true, just...I don't know. Suffice it to say that from about March through early June things were NOT so good. Some of it was dealing with the boys' behaviors but probably more was me. Their behaviors weren't new. We were in a "mega backslide" but it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before. It's just that after 3 years of dealing with those issues, I was anxious and aroused myself. Feel free to add in a healthy dose of depression and exhaustion from those same years of having children with sleep issues. In other words, they DON'T. Sleep that is. So I don't. Anyway, I was just NOT in a good place. I've never gone too much into detail about the boys' behaviors and it seemed like that was my life. Everything, no matter how big or small, was the straw that broke my back. I didn't know, and I'm still not really sure about this, how much I wanted to share. It made writing hard.

At any rate, things are currently better. I'm still exhausted but not quite as much as before. Behaviors are leveling out for the time being. The summer so far has been mostly rejuvenating, for all of us. My anxiety is much more under control. I have a handle on it now. I guess I tend towards being an anxious person anyway but the last few years with so much out of my control, mainly the court case and the boys' behaviors, saw it grow to a proportion I have never before had to deal with. Anyway, I am dedicating this summer to as much fun and healing (physically and emotionally) as we can get!

A Lot of Nuthin'

I haven't had a whole lot to say recently, obviously. There's just not much new going on. We're plugging along doing the day to day grind. We're enjoying the begining of spring weather and I'm looking forward to the summer for now. I intend to enjoy it a lot more than last year, which we all refer to as the summer that wasn't LOL.

Updates on each of us~
Cory is still rocking the school year. He's doing great with little help or guidance from me. I hope he can keep this up. I'm really proud of this new found independence. He had a mega spurt of disrespect going on but has really turned that around.

Ty is doing well too. He really didn't have any problems except for reading. He's in 6th grade and was reading on a 3rd grade level and then not passing his AR quizzes. AR quizzes are short computer quizzes on regular books that kids might read anyway. It's a good way to get kids to like reading more. Anyway, he's now taking and passing 5th grade level quizzes so he's put some effort in and is doing much better.

Jay's doing great in school. He's reading the same books Ty is and passing them so he's in 3rd reading on a 5th grade level. His struggle is in Math but not so much that I'm worried about him. Behaviorally he's going through a rough patch. I'm tired, he's testing. Still, we're dealing with it and I hope I don't jinx it by saying I think we're on the downside of this backslide.

Logan is reading up a storm and is doing well at school. He's behaving slightly better too. I still see the same behaviors but they're not quite as frequent.

I haven't been subbing much and except for not making the extra money I don't mind too much lol. I LOVE teaching but subbing is a lot different and I really don't like it.

That's about all for now, folks!

Meant to Be

Writing about B in yesterday's post reminded me that I haven't mentioned her on my blog before. I'm not going to give many details or tell her whole story but I do want to tell how she came to be my sister's foster to adopt dd.

Three years ago my sister got a job as a driver for a foster care agency. Her job, simply put, is to drive foster children to visits and appointments when neccessary. This agency covers a large area so some days she might be driving several hours one way for these trips. Soon after starting with the agency she began taking B on trips weekly. Her parents' rights had been terminated but she had visits with an aunt who intended to adopt B "when her behavior improves." Val also took her to dentist appointments, counseling appointments, and whatever else was neccessary. She brought her snacks and they talked and played games on these trips. Val began to talk about B frequently. She'd tell us cute things she said, how she did on her report card, or what B was up to in general. It's safe to say Val loved B then and has ever since.

Fast forward to July of this summer. Val heard at work that B's aunt had finally said she would not be adopting her and the current foster family was suddenly out as well. B had been moved to respite care and was looking at a new long term foster placement with a different family. Val was devastated because she hadn't known in time to have a chance for B to be placed with her. After a conversation about it with Val, the cw knew just who to call when the new placement fell through days later before B even had a chance to move in. The agency extended B's respite while they worked with Val and her dh to get them approved and B was living with them before the start of the school year.

During the process of Val and her dh being certified as foster parents, B of course had to be told what was happening. On a home visit the day after having that conversation with B, the cw told Val how it went. She told B that she wouldn't be going to live with the H family after all, but that Val and her husband wanted her to come live with them. At this point the cw got tears in her eyes and told Val that B's eyes got as big as pie plates and she gasped and said, "MY Val? MY Val wants me?"

You can argue all you want about whether B should've been removed from her parent's care. *You can debate whether the aunt that only wanted her if she could be "be good" would've been a good placement. I just don't see how you can look at how the pieces fell into place this summer or B's reaction and say that B wasn't meant to be with Val and her dh. It doesn't negate the good OR the bad of her past or her family. **Simply put people have free will and are going to do what they do. That doesn't mean God can't or won't use those actions to create something good and meant to be.

*I, by the way, would argue that she would NOT have made a decent placement. Children with issues like Jay and B won't get better to be loved and accepted, they'll get better if they ARE loved and accepted.

**I'd like to note that I saw this expressed in very similar words on another blog. I used it because it expresses what I believe but was struggling to find a way to say. I apologize to the author because it's not a blog I read frequently and I've looked but have ben unable to find it again so that I can give proper credit. If i find it later I'll update.

Crazy Day

I didn't get called in to work today so I thought I'd get some stuff done around the house and maybe relax a bit. Yeah...not so much.

I got out the vacuum to do the floors downstairs quick and it starts to smoke and I smelled rubber burning. Just the belt, an easy fix but still, kwim? Just as I was walking out the door to go get a new one my friend Nancy stopped by. She wanted to come along so we ran to a few stores in the process. Fun but certainly not the plan for the day.

By the time I got back and did a little bit of cleaning/straightening up I had decided to leave again to do a few more errands (this time on my own.) Just as I was leaving the phone rang. It was my sister. A bit of back history...she has a foster dd, B. They live about 30 mins away but B's school is about 15 mins away. B had a half day today and was supposed to go to the after school program since Val and her dh were working. I was going to pick her up there and watch her til Val could pick her up about 6:30. The phone call? Val in a panic after finding out nearly an hour AFTER school release that the school had messed up and sent her to the empty house! Luckily B called her friend and told her friend's mom, who called the school, who called Val, who called me. Did you follow all that? LOL. I couldn't get there and back before I had to get Logan so I picked him up early and headed there as quickly as I could.

Meanwhile, I thought all of my children would be accounted for lol. Ty was hanging out at the neighbor's after school anyway, Cory had Math tutoring til 5:30, and Jay had homework club til 3:30 and then on Thursdays my friend Sharon from school brings him home just for the fun of it. Guess what? SHE FORGOT HIM! LOL. No problem though. The school called her and she went back for him and took him out to eat to make it up to him. Which led to a change in dinner plans. We all ended grabbing Mc'D's then, after running B to and picking her up from her ballet class lol.

We finally get homework done, including a homemade necklace for Logan's class project. He puts it away (or so I thought) and settles to watch a movie. B and Jay had made necklaces as well so I didn't think anything of it at first when Jay asked "Who's is this?" about one that had almost nothing on it. Turns out it was Logan's. He'd put it in his backpack but didn't zip it. The dog got it and ate the noodles and cheerios off it so at 7 at night Logan was making another necklace.

And at bath time? Jay took a shower and ended up having soapy water on the floor, ceiling, walls, and door of the entire bathroom. It took us 10 mins working together to clean it up.

Oh well. It's over now, right? LOL.

My Mommy and Daddy

I love my mom and dad. They stopped by for a bit today and it was just really pleasant. My dad went around and put all the storm windows down. I really appreciated it, though I do just want to mention that I know how and am full capable of doing it lol. While he was doing that my mom gave the boys money for the A's on their report cards and we sat and chatted. Days like today remind me how lucky I am to have the family I have. I love them all!

S'All Good

Just wanted to say we're all doing good! And I have a bit of news...

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.....



We have a court date for the finalization! On October 23rd J and L will become a part of our family legally and permanently!

Right Now...

There's not much going on that's post-worthy so this will just be a quickie catch-up post.

I'm still dealing with behavioral issues with the boys, though that shouldn't be a surprize. Mostly things are getting better for now but there have been a few incidents here and there.

J and L know now that they won't be going back to their family. They seem relieved and happy and I think some of the improvements in behavior have stemmed from knowing that. L has been telling his teachers and friends at pre-school that he "is going to be an adopted kid." He's asked me when he'll be able to be a "C" (my last name) "like the rest of you (meaning Cory, Ty, and I)". I asked him if he was happy about becoming a "C" and he jumped up and down with his answer of "Yes!" J hasn't said much but he called me mom one night shortly after hearing the news. We just kind of looked at each other at the same time and smiled. He's definetely processing it though because he asked me what would happen if I decided I didn't want him after he was adopted. I of course told him I WOULDN'T change my mind and after the adoption was official I COULDN'T change my mind.

Casper is doing well and is a happy addition to our family.

I still haven't started my job but should be soon. I don't really understand WHY it's taking so long but I do know that there IS a reason.

In Which My Mom Lovingly Insults Me

A little background first. My mom makes these cookies and muffins that are good for you. They have tons of fiber, etc. in them. Most people would probably NOT like them but a. I grew up eating this kind of stuff and b. I'm weird that way so I honestly do.

Late this afternoon I was heading out the door to pick up J and L from school (Cory and Ty walk home...their school is a few houses down the street from ours) when my dad stopped by. My mom had given him a bag of stuff to drop off for us. He had the bag in hand and a smile on his face. "There's goodies inside and a note from your mom," he said. I ran the bag inside and headed off. When I investigated later I found: 4 pieces of cherry pie, one of her good for you cookies, and a note.

Says the note:
Pie for the boys, good for you cookie for you.
Love,
Ma

Need I say more?????

A Brief Review (The Name of the Wind)

You might not know it if you missed the few posts I've written regarding books or reading, but reading is a passion of mine. It runs in the family, so much so that my brother owns a bookstore. Lol you already know that if you've read this. On top of owning a bookstore my brother also writes book reviews for the local paper. So, yes, he reads...A LOT. He recently recommended a book, The Name of the Wind, to me. I wasn't sure about it but he was persistant and I finally gave in. I didn't regret it! He reviewed it on his review blog The author, Patrick Rothfuss, has garnered copious amounts of praise for it, his first book, and it's been likened to the Lord of the Rings. Yes, it's fantasy. But guess what? I can't of course promise that you'll like it but I DO promise you don't have to be a fan of fantasy to. It's sad sometimes, hysterically funny at others, and so well written it was just a fast, easy read.

Just a quick note~this is Book One of a three book series known as the King Killer Chronicles.

"You've Been Flocked"

Our town has one of the best fundraisers I've ever seen going on right now. It's called "Flock or be Flocked." The local theater group is doing it to raise money for their Relay For Life team (cancer). There's a huge flock of plastic pink flamingos and you can pay (donate $$$ to the American Cancer Society) to send them to someone's yard for the day. If there isn't much yard they have flower pots they put them in. You can also pay BEFORE you get flocked to buy "flocking insurance" (so you can't BE flocked) lol. The boys and I have really enjoyed it since they started it and nearly every day we drive around to see who got "flocked." SOOOO....we decided to "flock" Uncle Kevin at his bookstore lol.

Aunt Val

We went out to dinner last night with my sister. I told her that one of us needs to sit by L. Lol. I'm not so sure she'll choose to be the one that does again. He ran her ragged with his messes and needing "nakins." But they did share "furly pries" (curly fries) and ice cream lol. Though apparently they THOUGHT they were having a shake???

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day, mom! I know this might be a hard one for you so I just wanted you to know how much I love you!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends, too! And ALL the moms (and moms to be!) out there!