Dates and Another Adoption/Foster Care Issue

I finally have some actual news about J and L! It's hopeful, good news too. There are 3 court dates set. In mid March there is a TPR hearing for L and then in April there will be a 6 month review and a TPR hearing for J. There are reasons that they are being heard separately but the case is stronger in J's situation so a lot of stress will be relieved after the first hearing if it goes the way the county is recommending.

As relieved and thrilled as I am for J, L, and myself I had a hard time writing this today because a blogger friend of mine is losing her fostersons. (A quick aside: I don't like the wording of the last sentence but I don't know how else to say it. They might not legally be hers but she loves them and they're leaving.) They will be moving into the care of their Aunt and Uncle. While I think it's a good idea to keep children with family whenever possible there are some possible issues with the situation. I have another problem with it, too. If this is where the kiddos are going to go, why did they wait 7 months to move on it? The kids now have a good, solid bond with my friend and her dh. Every time kids in care get attached and lose those people they're attached too it causes issues. Not to mention the pain it causes the foster parents. I realize that's a secondary issue but it's still asking a lot of the fps. Hmmmm. I wonder why foster care gets such a bad rap...if you treat people the way fps are treated you burn the good ones out and many of the ones left are the horror stories we hear so much about. Not to mention that dumb moves like this on the part of the workers cause more issues for the kids and kids in care have enough to deal with. The whole thing just irks me. UGH!

Anyway...PeeWee I just want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you, Meek, and the E's!

Case Updated Again

The update that I have isn't much in the way of news. Here's what I know:

1. Visits are continuing, despite the fact that from what I hear (and see here after) they aren't going that well.

2. J's behavior has greatly improved and L continues to demonstrate his on a regular basis. They seem to be getting worse in that he is now having some problems at school.

3. The next hearing SHOULD be for TPR. I've heard this straight from the GAL. However it won't be until at least March, 2 yrs and 1 month from their placement into care.

As usual, prayers would be appreciated!

Number 1 Song

I wasn't officially tagged for this but after I saw it on a friend's blog I was curious. The number one song on May 10th 1971 (my birthday) was.....

"Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night.

Didn't know it before but I can live with that!

A Questionable Funny

A while back my sister was here for dinner. At one point during the evening L looked up at us and said, "Is it just me, or do I have a headache?" Now it certainly was NOT funny that he had a headache and maybe you had to be there but we sure had a hard time not laughing.

Rules

I've found myself saying this a lot recently, given that I've been a "mommy" to J and L for nearly 2 years now and none of us have any resolution as of yet. I posted it in a comment on a blog of a wonderful fellow fostermom and thought I'd say it here too.

The 2 hardest rules of fostercare:

1. Treat and love these kids as your own. (This is hard because it's gut-wrenching to do this knowing there's every possibility your heart will be broken if/when the kids leave you and you might never see them again.)

2. Got number 1? Good. NOW...never forget the whole time you're following number 1 that they AREN'T yours. (I'm not debating here the fact that they aren't ours as fp's. I KNOW that. I'm just stating that this is obviously a VERY painful irony we face if we really are doing our jobs as fp's.)

Christmas Present Update

Just thought I'd let everyone know that Ty has decided as of today he likes his natural look better! Woo hoo! Lol.

Deja Vu

For some reason the end of 2008 feels no different than the end of 2007. Not much has changed...at this point I still don't have a job and the boys' case hasn't been settled. Both of these things will likely be resolved soon. I have 2 prospects job-wise, one is a pretty sure thing and one is a long term sub position I'm applying for. As far as the case goes everything that can be done on either side seems to have been done. It'll be 2 years in Febuary so the judge is going to HAVE to decide soon. This next court hearing, most likely late January or early February, should see some answers in that arena. Right now I'm pretty stressed about it all the time. I KNOW they can't go home because I've heard first hand the torture they endured there but coming from me doesn't help the court case as my credibility has been called into question by their family.

I don't feel like I accomplished much in 08. It went by in a blur and left few changes to make me take notice. There are SOME good things of course. Looking back I'm proud of my parenting overall. I've helped J and L over some major hurdles and we continue to work on others. I'm proud of the young men Cory and Ty are becoming and that's in a large part due to me. There were some great times that I'll remember and cherish forever...our vacation and a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Eve to name a few. And of course I'm blessed beyond measure by my boys, my family, and my friends. Ah well...bring on 2009 LOL.

To all of you...May 2009 be a healthy, peaceful, joyous, and prosperous year!